Aging Gracefully

Besides my husband’s uncanny resemblance to Dave Grohl, lead singer of the band Foo Fighters, he also gets a lot of attention for the gray in his beard.  People often point this out as if we don’t know.  “Nick’s beard is really gray.”  Whaat!?!  No way!  It is!?!

Over the years I’ve made it into sort of a running joke.  I used to tell everyone that I gave him his gray beard.  Which was funny to me since I knew I hadn’t, not in the typical way you would picture.  I was far from the nagging, “rule with an iron fist” wife who you would imagine stressing out their significant other to the point of aging them beyond their years.  Our life is pretty laid back.  And give or take a few disagreements about shoes on the dining room floor or how often to run the garbage disposal, our relationship is fairly drama-free these days.

But I do know that when we met 16 years ago, I changed the course of Nick’s life in ways he never saw coming.  I convinced him to move to the country and embrace our 100 year-old fixer upper.  I convinced him to get on a plane and travel all over the country with me (when I met Nick he had a fear of flying).  I convinced him that we could live a simple life and still do amazing things.

For me, taking ownership of a few gray hairs was more of a right of passage, an acknowledgement of time.  No one else has aged with Nick, no one else has been there for a decade and a half…short hair, long hair, grey beard, no beard…

And Nick changed the course of my life too.  He made me believe in a partnership.  He made me realize that even though I would have tried to do all these things by myself- remodel an old home and travel the world- they have been more fun with him by my side.

And by my side is where he’s been through it all…we’ve been a couple long enough now that you can see us aging together in our photos.  Our early 20’s to our late 20’s, our 30’s and what will someday be our 40’s…

Although I like to think when we look at each other we still see the young “kids” we were when we met in the FVTC lunch room, that bought a house and started throwing theme parties every summer, that walked down the aisle 8 years ago today…

I certainly don’t see the grey hairs in Nick beard, even though I know they are there.  And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t see all the aging I have done either.

In fact, I recently switched back to contacts after wearing glasses and when I was leaning in close to my reflection to put in a lens I noticed the extra wrinkles and lines on my face that have become more pronounced lately.  I think if I am going to take responsibility for Nick’s graying facial hair it is only appropriate that he shoulder some of the blame for these wrinkles.

After all, most of them are crows feet at the corners of my eyes, the wrinkle in my brow is from laughing really hard and the crinkles around my mouth are from smiling…

So I think in all fairness if those gray hairs in his beard are all me…

then these smile lines on my face are most definitely all him.

Happy 8th Wedding Anniversary to my Nick-

Marrying you has been the most amazing part of my simple life!

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